It was 7:00am, and I heard Nora stirring over the monitor. I groaned inwardly...I really need to go to bed earlier (I have this conversation with myself every day!). But, today was my day off. Matt and I had just been through 2 very busy weeks. We both went out of town, not together mind you, and I had managed Nora all by myself those two weeks. I needed a break! Matt's boss graciously gave him two days off to make up for the 2 straight weeks of work that he'd had, and Matt promised to get up with Nora on those 2 days to give me a break. I was so excited. This was day 2.
"Matt, sweetie, Nora is up." I said gently.
"Can you get her today, hon?" was his reply.
I didn't say a word. I was mad, pissed off really (excuse my language!) I silently got up, and went to get Nora. As I was changing her diaper, I prayed. This was my prayer:
"How could he do that Lord?! He PROMISED! What, is Nora my sole responsibility?! Am I a single mommy?!"
And I began thinking of ways that I could passively aggressively express my anger to Matt all day. Being cold. Sarcastic. Not saying much.
As I stood there silently fuming a word entered my head. Grace. Grace, Steph, give him some Grace. He's had a hard two weeks too. I sighed, agreeing with the Lord. Okay, Lord, Grace.
Matt came out the bedroom about an hour an a half later. He was refreshed.
"Thanks, Steph, I really needed that rest." I smiled at him and genuinely said, "You're welcome, honey." And we went on to have a fabulous day.
I once heard Andy Stanley say something to the effect of this: Give as much grace as you hope is given to you. So the question is: How much grace do I want Matt and Nora to give me? A LOT! I fail as a wife and mommy daily, hourly even! Sometimes harboring anger against your spouse or whomever, ends up hurting you more than it hurts them. I would venture to say most of the time! If I had not given Matt grace, we would have had a stinky day together, it just wasn't worth it!
How much grace do you want?
"And from His fullness we have received grace upon grace." John 1:16 ESV
Love your honesty! Thank you for this. I needed to read it today. :)
ReplyDeleteSo true, I have the same thoughts a lot. And if something or someone stops me long enough to not act on those thoughts everything just turns out so much better! Hope all is well and miss you!
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